Surviving Funnel Week

From the Des Moines Register:

Here are some of the bills that skated through this week just before today's so-called funnel deadline:

I'll take them one by one:

DROPOUT AGE: Students would have to attend school until at least age 17 under House File 2144.

Or what? Go to jail? Right, like this is going to solve any "dropout" problem.

COLD MEDICINE TRACKING: A statewide instant verification system would track the sales of certain cold medicines in order to avoid a new spike in methamphetamine abuse under House File 852.

Hey, let's not do anything about the way 95% of meth arrives into Iowa, which is that it's driven in by criminal illegal aliens from Mexico. Instead, let's spend millions building some "verification" system that will drive up the cost of health care

NICKEL DEPOSIT ON BOTTLES: Consumers would pay a nickel deposit for water, juice, tea and sport drinks under House Study Bill 734. The deposit is already charged in Iowa on soft drinks and beer cans.

What? Newspapers aren't included?

What weighs more, a week's worth of Registers or a week's worth of water bottles and Pepsi cans?

What about Chef Boyardee cans? Campbell's soup? Concentrated lemonade? While we're at it, Iowa should just put a deposit on everything the grocery store sells since they can't tax food. Right? This is nothing but a backdoor tax on food. Lawsuits should be filed if this passes.

It's cheaper in the long run to invest in curbside recycling.

IMMIGRATION:All workers in Iowa would have to obtain a state-issued identification card to be employed under House Study Bill 717. The idea is to help curb illegal immigration.

Right, and those can't be forged. How much are "workers" going to be charged for this card? How many people will need to be hired to dole them out? What a joke.

ETHANOL PUMPS: A state grant program would help pay for pumps that blend ethanol so consumers can choose how much ethanol they want, between E10 and E85. Senate Study Bill 3198 would also boost incentives to retailers for increased biodiesel sales.

This will surely increase the costs of fuel for vehicles. All part of Vilsack's old plan to force taxpayers to spend $180 million on new pumps, which is essentially welfare for the likes of Bill Krause.

STUDENTS IN SPORTS: House File 2131 would shift control of sports eligibility rules to the State Board of Education. If the board gains power, it is expected to make high school students who open enroll into new districts wait a full year instead of 90 days before playing varsity sports.

This is the same State Board of Education who thinks athlete-students can achieve four D-minuses and one F and should still be eligible to play.

PENSIONS: The state won't put as much money into pensions as public employees are asking for, and judges would have to contribute more of their salary to the pension fund under Senate Study Bill 3244.

While you're at it, why not create a venture capital fund so you can gamble with state pension money? Better yet, just put slot machines in every state office. It's all a gamble anyway.

PROMOTING ATTRACTIONS: A total of $1 million would be used to market projects receiving money from the community attraction and tourism grant under House File 871.

You know what this means. It's gonna go to a bunch of local community projects, like when Vision Iowa gave nearly a million dollars to help build a new library in Coralville in 2005. No "tourist" is gonna go there.

HEALTH INSURANCE: Senate Study Bill 3140 would require that nearly all families have health insurance for their children by 2011. The House version, House Study Bill 757, would expand coverage to needy families but not require insurance for all children.

And if the parents choose booze, drugs, or gambling instead of health insurance for junior, then what? Will they be arrested? Will Hillary Clinton come and garnish their wages? And what if mom & dad don't take junior to the doc? Should government come by and forcibly remove them on a regular basis?

HEALTH WORKERS: People who go into health care professions that are underserved in Iowa, such as psychiatry and nursing, could get forgivable college loans under Senate Study Bill 3186.

Instead of trying to find a way to get the nursing profession's pay in Iowa out of last place in the country, the politicians want to give a way for the Democrats running the nursing programs at Iowa's universities a chance to jack up tuition.

GIFT CARDS: To make sure consumers can redeem the full value of the gift certificates they purchase, Senate File 2091 would prohibit sellers from issuing gift cards with expiration dates and ban them from charging fees.

Wow, finally a bill that I agree with!

ROAD REPAIRS: Registration fees for vehicles may go up to raise money for road construction and repair projects. House Study Bill 628 and Senate Study Bill 3267 raise various vehicle-related fees.

How about removing the break that city slicker pickup truck drivers get for hauling their $40,000 gas-guzzling vehicles to the mall? How about giving a break to people who have more fuel efficient or lighter vehicles? No way, not gonna happen.

RENEWABLE ENERGY: Sets a goal for Iowa utilities to have 25 percent of the electricity they produce come from renewable sources by 2025. House Study Bill 742 also sets an efficiency standard for a 1.5 percent annual reduction in energy use to all gas and electric utilities in the state.

I remember when, in 1990, the California Legislature had a goal that 2% of cars sold in the state would be emission-free by 1998 and 10% by 2003. Didn't happen, did it?

FOREIGN-MADE FLAGS: It would be illegal to sell foreign-made U.S. or Iowa flags under House File 2191.

That's just gay.

COMMISSION FOR BOOMERS: People nearing retirement age would be the focus of a Baby Boomer Generation Commission aimed as an economic and work force development tool for the state under House File 2038.

More expansion of government. This will, in 20 or 30 years be comprised of the same idiots who currently sit on the Generation Iowa commission.

COLLEGE MONEY FOR VETERANS: Veterans would be able to get a $750 one-time grant to help pay for undergraduate college studies. The grant in Senate File 2253 would be only for those who have exhausted their federal education benefits.

A ridiculously cheap way for politicians, particularly Democrats, to say they support the troops when they really don't. Look at that last sentence, for crying out loud. Total sloganeering.

MILITARY TAX BREAK: Many veterans would be able to avoid paying income tax on up to $20,000 of retirement pay received for their military service under House File 133.

That's a better deal.

COURSES FOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS: High school seniors would have a new program to help them take college or advanced placement courses under House Study Bill 649.

Can't all high school seniors already take college or AP courses through the community college system in Iowa through concurrent enrollment programs?

SALARIES FOR NONPROFITS: Nonprofit groups would have to report compensation of some executives in various reports submitted to the Iowa secretary of state under House Study Bill 765.

Good.

INSURANCE ADVOCATE: An insurance consumer advocate office would be created in the state's insurance division by House Study Bill 737. Lawmakers may change the location to the attorney general's office.

Probably not a bad idea.

CORPORATE TAXES: Although some Democratic leaders had called the combined-reporting idea dead, there's now renewed interest in the proposal, which would tax out-of-state corporations on their Iowa operations.

Joe over at the Tax Update Blog was talking about this 5 years ago, but what the Iowa Legislature has been crafting he has called "combined nonsense".

PROTECTING MONEY FOR PARKS: A proposed constitutional amendment would state that money intended for natural resources projects could not be spent on other projects. Senate Study Bill 3250 would create a new natural resources and outdoor recreation trust fund for enhancing parks, trails, fish and wildlife habitat and conserving agricultural soil in the state.

Oh, another trust fund that politicians can raid down the road. Now I'm sure you're sitting there saying "State, the amendment will say that the money could not be spent on other projects!" Fooey! They always find a way around it with IOUs or other BS.

And that's my take on what has survived Funnel Week in the Iowa Legislature.