Well, let me tell you something about the Maharishi camp... in Fairfield

The Tax Update Blog has a post concerning a Weekly Standard story about eminent domain in Iowa, a farmer near Fairfield who wants to build a hog lot, and the Maharishis who want to take the land to build a park.

Now for your morning's entertainment, John Lennon singing "The Maharishi Song".

Really, listen to it, even though it's a rubbish song, as they say over there in Blighty:



Lyrics:

John: Well, let me tell you something about the Maharishi camp, in Rishikesh. There were one or two attractive women there, but mainly, looked like, ya know, school teachers or somethin'. And the whole damn camp was fine on the ones in the bathing suits. And they're supposed to be meditatin'. And there's this cowboy there called Tom who plays cowboys on T.V. And my, did the Beatle-wives go for him in a big way....! I wondered what it was - it was his tight leather belt, his jeans, and his dumb eyes. They seem to love dumb eyes 'cause all they see is dumb eyes.

Yoko: What's wrong with his eyes? You have good sight.

John: Me? I took it for real. I wrote 600 songs - about how I feel. I felt like dying, and crying, and committing suicide, but I felt creative and I said: "What the hell's this got to do with what that silly little man's talking about?" But he did charm me in a way because he was funny - sort of cuddly, like a sort of - you know...

Yoko: Like a teddy bear....

John: ...Little daddy with a beard telling stories of Heaven as if he knew. You could never pin him down - but he often spread rumors through his right hand man who used to be with the CIA and told about the planes he saved. How Maharishi came through the storm - on a plane. And the pilot was gettin' worried they couldn't land. When Maharishi looked up and with one foul look - according to the man who works for him, everything was OK and they landed! After that I thought, lies. But who was that woman who looks like Jean Simmons who keeps going to him for private interviews? She musta been about 40 - 45. Kept talkin' about her husband 'cause he wasn't there. Always tryin' to get a private audience with the Maharishi and he kept refusing. I knew only one thing. He must of had some of his own. It musta been that little Indian piece. She came with the tailor and could sit at his feet and that was one in 500. The rest had to wait like good American people, in lines, to see the master walking on the petals who lived in a million dollar stecketo house overlookin' the Himalayas. He looked holy.

Yoko: But he was a sex maniac...

John: I couldn't say that, but he certainly wasn't...

Yoko: Holy.

John: In the true sense of the word that is...!

Cyclones Get Killed By Kent State

Ouch!

The Cyclones lost to the Kent State Golden Flashes at Jack Trice Stadium yesterday, 23-14.

Not a good start for Gene Chizik.

You've got a love a team like the Golden Flashes and their wonderful football program, where every victory is cherished. Why, you can even afford to take your family to a football game there in Ohio. The Family Pack, presented by Hungry Howie’s Pizza, will provide four tickets, four drinks, four hats and a large Hungry Howie’s pizza for $55. Now that's good value.

District Judge Robert Hanson Makes Up His Own Laws

Looks like District Judge Robert Hanson made up his own law concerning "gender neutral" marriage in Iowa.

Iowa Code 595.2.1 is clear: Only a marriage between a male and a female is valid.

I'm actually in favor of gay marriage, although not by having it forced down our throats via judges and lawsuits. In other words, I agree with Dick Cheney.

Mainstream Iowan points out that Hanson is yet another Tom Vilsack appointee. I wonder how Vilsack's bought-and-paid-for Iowa Supreme Court will rule?

If you let rogue judges get their ways, very soon they'll be rewriting the Iowa Code because marriage laws aren't Metazoa-neutral.



Update: The Tax Update Blog has a picture showing a lack of media vehicles in front of the Polk County Courthouse this morning. Hmmm.....

Angry Hippies

From a reader, who forwarded this to me. This was a letter printed in some co-op grocery store's newsletter in Iowa City called the Catalyst. You can also read it on page 3 of this big PDF. There's lots of anger here:

Co-op Members:

In a recent letter to Catalyst, member Gary Sanders laments the Board's refusal of his request to significantly help with the legal expenses incurred by the Stop Wal-Mart campaign. We should all be grateful to Gary for the work he has done and is doing on this issue. He is single handedly responsible for the fact that we do not yet have a Super Wal-Mart in Iowa City.

The failure of the Board to fund this effort is not surprising. We have gone from a store whose initial mission was political: a part of an environmental movement seeking - for many reasons - ways to get outside the system and to conduct a business in a manner that was kinder and gentler to all involved. Those days are long gone.

Fairly recently we had a Board member who didn't want to do anything if it had a political overtone because, as he stated, "I represent all the members, not just some of the members." Well, if you don't support the political action that some portion of the members is asking you to support then you certainly are not representing those members. Directors cannot answer to everyone anymore than President Idioti can answer for three-fourths of the American people.

As one of the earliest members of the Co-op, Jim Walters pointed out in a letter to Catalyst, when you rent you are no longer a cooperative. We are still paying rent in Coralville and when we expand, as expand we will, we no doubt will again pay rent and be an even bigger part of the corporate system.

Only recently we discovered that we have a staff, a Board majority, and a majority of those voting members who do not want to know if the produce they are buying and putting into their tummies is coated in pesticides.

New Pi today is a nice place to shop, with well-to-do customers like myself who can afford to pay high prices in order to sell competitively priced milk to poor people. But we sell non-organic produce next to organic produce, our slickly printed newsletter ran a promotional article written by the company selling the product (at $47.99/8.5 ounces), and we shamelessly sell ads as well as promote expensive products like meat, beer, wine, cheese, take-out, and catering services. Cars in the parking lot sport "Dubya" bumper stickers as often as do those that call on us to "Subvert the Dominant Paradigm".

We're a diverse crowd now and we might just as well go ahead and sell Coca Cola. A few years ago I opposed this when it was tried, but why not? If we can't support the Stop Wal-Mart campaign we might just as well throw in the towel (90% post consumer waste, of course).

Carol deProsse
New Pioneer Food Co-op Member

I don't know why these hippies don't hit up all those rich Democrats who hate Wal-Mart so much.

Maybe you could ask Tom Vilsack for some money. After all, he helped bring forth the Avenue Of The Saints that runs by Iowa City so that his town, Mount Pleasant, could have an expanded Wal-Mart distribution center that employs 1200 people.

Maybe you could ask Hitlery Clinton for some money. After all, she was once on the Board of Directors of Wal-Mart for 6 years (1986-1992) until her husband ran for President. It was only many years later, when it became fashionable for Democrats to hate Wal-Mart that she changed her vote and said some shit about how she was misled by Wal-Mart, or something convenient.

Maybe you could ask John Edwards for some money. He's against poverty, you know. He's also an asshole who demands his slaves get junior a new Playstation 3 by any means necessary, even if it means trying to cut in line at Wal-Mart, a company he regularly trashes in speeches.

Can you imagine if Carol deProsse had her way? She'd run that little hippie grocery store out of business.

First, she'd take all the profits and give it to some loser campaign to try and stop some store that is going to get built anyway. Ask yourself this question, how is Wal-Mart going to be competition for some little hippie grocery store? The answer is that it won't ever be. All those old hippies and communists can't ride their bicycles or walk in their Birkenstocks that far out to wherever they want to build that Wal-Mart.

Second, she seems like the type of organic nazi who would go around the parking lot looking for "Dubya" bumperstickers and quizzing people on whether they support "President Idioti" or not before letting them in the store. "Are you now or have you ever had an impure thought about non-organic produce or accidentally had yoga with somebody who once voted Republican?" Something like that.

Thank gaia that Iowa City doesn't have a Whole Foods or a Wild Oats in that town. Down here in the Kansas City area we have a few Wild Oats stores, which were recently acquired by Whole Foods, and the hippies have been chattering endlessly about it.

Oh Great, Gay Marriage Again

Yeah, like that's going to stand.

It'll give the Presidential candidates something new to chatter about now. The DMR, too.

This blog has talked about gay marriage and gay divorce in Iowa before. Ho hum.

NWA Gets $2 Million In Corporate Welfare For $9 An Hour Jobs In Sioux City

The DMR says that Northwest Airlines (NWA) is going to put a reservation call center in Sioux City. Wages will be around $9 an hour.

What the DMR doesn't say is that NWA received $2 million in New Market Tax Credits for the project.

Fauxscal conservative "Republican" Chuck Grassley called the use of the taxpayer-financed corporate welfare "great".

Northwest Airlines is also a company that can afford to compensate their CEO nearly $1.5 million a year, despite the company being a money-loser and filing for bankruptcy last year.

Playboy Is An Outlet For Female Sexual Empowerment, Says ISU Marketing Major Chick

Emily Garringer, a senior in marketing at ISU, writes an editorial that heavily promotes Playboy Magazine in today's Iowa State Daily.

I'll have to say that Playboy has been very very good to the State 29 blog. In 2006, "Jordan Monroe" became the first Iowa native to become a Playmate. Thanks to this Radio Iowa story and especially this page that links to some NSFW pics at the Daily Niner, traffic to this blog has gone bananas. You can see why:



I wonder if any Feminasties will complain about Garringer's column? There's not many at ISU, but you never know. I'll keep a lookout for 'em.

Aviva Will Not Be Paying Their Fair Share Of Taxes In West Des Moines

No! Not Aviva Farber from the movie Superbad, you idiot. Aviva the insurance company!

Insurance carrier Aviva is moving from downtown Des Moines out to West Des Moines. And they're getting a ton of corporate welfare from the taxpayers to do it.

How much?

The State of Iowa will be offering incentives to Aviva for moving 800 jobs from leased space to a new building. It didn't matter to the State whether it was built in downtown Des Moines or Rock Rapids, apparently. The City of Des Moines argues that they should get credit for the 800 jobs and West Des Moines should only get credit for the proposed 400 jobs due to a later expansion.

The Iowa Department Of Giving Out Corporate Welfare To Rich Companies Economic Development hasn't said how much Aviva will get, but Wells Fargo got $10 million and Allied got $7 million in corporate welfare in recent years.

The City of West Des Moines will rebate Aviva's property taxes back to them at a rate starting at 75% the first year, 60% the second, 45% the third, 30% the fourth, and 15% the fifth. WDM will also have to spend over $10 million on new roads, sewer, and infrastructure for Aviva's building. TIF money will be used.

I guess WDM needs jobs, jobs, jobs, even though the unemployment rate in Dallas County is 2.5% and falling as of July 2007.

Why Are You In A Dying Industry?

The DMR reprints yesterday's net story about Laura Hollingsworth, the new publisher for the paper.

A lifelong Gannettoid (18 years), 40 years old, only living in Iowa for the past 5 years, and with a teenager and two 2-year old twins at home, she'll be in charge of advertising, circulation, production, marketing, information services, online departments, Des Moines-area weeklies, news, finance, and human resources. She'll also be on the Editorial Bored and express her opinion every now and then.

Whew! "Who's Taking Care Of The Children?" - indeed!

Hollingsworth seems to peg drastically falling circulations and advertising revenue for the monopoly corporate lefty newspaper industry as just being a PR issue. We all know the foolishness of blaming chronic problems on PR or marketing.

Well, at least Hollingsworth isn't blaming the newspaper industry's woes on angry white males.

But just wait! There's time!

Another Ethanol Plant In Iowa Is Not Paying Its Fair Share Of Property Taxes

The DMR reports in a story (Headline: "State's 29th ethanol refinery fires up") that Green Plains Renewable Energy is beginning production at their ethanol plant near Shenandoah.

Great headline. Somebody at the DMR is doing a subliminal shoutout to this blog, you just know it.

Here's something the DMR didn't mention. This is from the company's Form 10-Q:

we were awarded grants and zero-interest loans of $400,000 from the Iowa Department of Economic Development

Because everybody knows that an $85 million project won't happen without $400,000 from state taxpayers.

And then there's this, also from the 10-Q:

The City of Shenandoah awarded us a 15 year property tax abatement. It is anticipated that it will result in significant long-term savings.

Only the little people pay taxes, like the 33 people they'll hire to run the joint.

In fact, in Shenandoah, the little people have to pony up extra because of the local option sales tax for schools thanks to companies like Green Plains Renewable Energy getting away with avoiding property taxes by greasing the local politicians.

More Deer Motorcycle Deaths In Iowa

According to the Cedar Rapids Gazette, two more people have died in deer-motorcycle crashes this year, bringing the total number of dead from such accidents to nine.

Last year, in Iowa, there were eight motorcyclists killed thanks to deer.

From 1995 to 2005, only a total of 18 people were killed on motorcycles because of deer.

Don't forget the infamous quote by former Iowa DNR head Jeff Vonk:

"When you shoot them, they are our deer, but when you hit them with your car, they are your deer," Vonk said with a nervous chuckle at a meeting.

Hey folks, guess what? More people have died because of motorcyclists hitting deer in Iowa this year than Iowa National Guard members killed in Iraq, at least as of August 7th.

I say it's a quagmire. Let's get the motorcyclists out of Iowa. We support the motorcyclists!

Meet The New Boss

The next Gannettoid to be the publisher of the Des Moines Register is Laura Hollingsworth.

This follows Mary Stier's exit to start some multimedia company aimed at rich white suburban liberal Boomer women.

TIFs, Seed Funds, and Micro Credit

"As is often the case, State29 is right."

Read the whole thing.

Unpopular War or Unpopular War Protest?

33 people turned out for a MoveOn.org anti-war protest at the University of Iowa today.

School is currently in session, with around 30,000 students enrolled.


Update on Wednesday: The Press-Citizen reprints the story online again, but in a different location. I noticed that the organizer was Maria Conzemius. I thought that name sounded familiar. She got a Letter published in the Des Moines Register last year claiming that Wal-Mart's CEOs (sic) gave the Bush re-election campaign $500 million dollars. She was only off by $499,996,000.00. Hey, Maria, MOVE ON! Ya loser.



Later Update: "Activists" meet in Ames and say the usual bullshit. No word on how many people showed up, although I bet it wasn't many.

Democrats: Check Yo Self

Andy Gionnette, writing in the Iowa State Daily about single-issue voters and the low approval ratings of Congress:

To all you left-winging, alt-rock-listening, solar-powered-living, electric-car-driving, tree-hugging, long-haired hippie friends of mine, how could you not expect this? I mean, you didn't actually believe a new Congress would mean an end to war, did you? After all the stagnation of the past six years, you thought these newbies would completely revamp the system and reform Congress so they would do anything you told them to do?

Some lefties might write off Gionnette as a right-winga based on that sentence. Better read the whole thing.

I had a (very) Democratic relative recently say to me, "I don't know why the Republicans are even bothering running anybody for President in 2008." Well, then I guess it doesn't matter who on the Democratic side gets the nomination, right?

There's nothing wrong with telling Democrats to check themselves, right? But will they listen to constructive criticism? No way.

Now for your noontime entertainment, Rev Aric Flemming:

Marc Hansen Loves Criminals

The Register's worst columnist, Marc Hansen, has a profile of Christopher L. Byrd, a man shot and killed by an undercover police officer recently outside a bar in Des Moines after Byrd had already shot three individuals.

Hansen exudes no sympathy for the officer other than saying that if the police officer acted responsibly then he still has to live with it for the rest of his life.

How brain dead do you have to be to write that?

I'm not going to get into the officer's head, but I think I could sleep pretty good knowing that I shot and killed a criminal piece of shit who had already popped three people and then aimed his weapon at me.

Hansen finds the decedent's aunt in Colorado. Byrd, like too many irresponsible criminal black men, has spread his seed all over the place. At 23, he already had three children by two different women. Hello, Social Security!

Somehow, Hansen turns this farce into a "let's weep for the children" column. It's not like that guy was ever around his children. He was too busy getting drunk in bars, loading guns, shooting people and keeping it real.

Reinterpreting Thalia Sutton

University police have no business causing global warming by driving around all day in an automobile, it's as simple as that.

Let them have a Segway, if you must, but keep it locked up at the police station at all times.

I am a born-and-raised Iowan who doesn't seem to be aware that the University of Iowa and Iowa State University are the only campuses in the Big Ten and Big 12 conferences whose police do not carry guns yet have cars. It's not like the campus police have to drive around in order to deal with all the underage drunks downtown or a bunch of wifebeaters, mother-rapers and father-rapers in other parts of the city. I know I'd feel a lot less safe stepping out of my ivory tower and into a world where the cops have guns strapped to their hips and 6000 pound automobiles around them, ready to fire at random at the peaceful public and run over young children and grandmothers while in pursuit.

I'm a psyche major, so naturally I know everything. Virginia Tech's massacre was a failure of the authorities to take a perfectly free individual who creeped a few people out and send him off to the funny farm for experimentation. Having a car at their disposal wouldn't have gotten them to the scene any faster.

Just think, any one of those university rent-a-cops could be a violent kook, waiting to crack and pull a Charles Whitman or a Lizzie Grubman.

Because of that, university cops should not have automobiles. Give them bicycles. Thanks to excessive idling by other university cops, the temperature of the Earth is skyrocketing, so they won't need bicycles in the winter. And if the university cops need to arrest somebody, dispatch an officer with a tandem bicycle, or a Rhoades car.

And If You Need A Dollar, Holla, Cos I Got A Whole Stack

Nationwide fired five employees in Des Moines who regularly hung up on customers.

Anybody who has ever worked in a call center for five seconds is aware of this kind of stuff. Management wants customer service agents to meet particular unrealistic time and statistical quotas, so you get things like this happening. I'm not saying it's right, but I understand why an employee would do something like this. Especially if other employees are dumping their calls on them.

I love how deep in the story you've got one of the fired reps saying that "90% of the people who work in the call center" routinely hang up on customers. I totally believe that.

And while such a story reflects badly on Nationwide, nothing could have been dumber than wasting whatever they spent on K-Fed's Super Bowl ad last year. Sure, it's funny, but if Nationwide will hire K-Fed to promote their company, they'll hire any idiot to handle their customer service.

Tom Harkin's 2007 Steak Fry

GED recipient and former $368,000-a-year CIETC head Ramona Cunningham with Senator Tom Harkin at the dedication of the "Tom Harkin Learning Center" at CIETC offices in October 20, 2004.

Tom Harkin's steak fry is set for September 16th in Indianola at the Balloon Field (insert hot air jokes here...).

Featured guests will be John Edwards (mistakenly billed as Senator John Edwards), Joe Biden, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bill Richardson, and Chris Dodd. It's not like you can't see these folks for free prostituting themselves on every other street corner in Iowa.

Tickets are $30 in advance. $35 at the gate. Children 5-10 years old (trust me, they'll be carding, unlike voters) are $5 and only available at the gate. Children under age 5 are free, so it still won't cost Staci and Brent Appel much money. They've donated enough over the years.

If you're loaded, a special reception with Senator Harkin will be held for Hosts and Sponsors prior to the Steak Fry on September 16. The time and location information will be mailed to confirmed Hosts and Sponsors after August 21. Host levels are $200/person or $400/couple and Sponsor levels are $500/person or $1,000/couple. Wow! There really are Two Americas!

And I love the confirmation section of the ticket-buying web page:

You have to swear that you're a United States Citizen or permanent resident alien. No struggling migrant workers allowed (Two Aztlans!), although I wouldn't be surprised if some TB-infected Mexican illegal with a couple of OWIs, a union-approved fake Social Security card, and syphilis likely slaughtered the cattle and processed the steak.

"This contribution is not made from the general treasury of a corporation, labor organization, or a national bank." - they've got other ways of getting that money.

"I understand that contributions or gifts to Citizens for Harkin are not tax deductible." - but if you spend enough money on Tom Harkin he might get you something from one of those earmarks he loves so unabashedly.

As for Harkin, what kind of right-wing get-together is this? Harkin voted for the war in Iraq. He recently voted to continue funding it. He's supporting Republican deficit kingpin Jim Nussle for the White House Office Of Mismanagement of the Deficit. And he's shoulder-to-shoulder with Steve King on the issue of illegal immigration.

Where are the nutroots when you need them?

HOT FLASH: Reinterpreting Rekha Basu

What's the matter with you penis crackers in Iowa?

Why haven't you elected a woman as the Governor or as a member of Congress? You misogynists!

Damn, why is it so hot in here?

I'm talking about the angry white men here, naturally. It's not the female race's fault.

It's mystifying me to understand why so many people would bash Hillary Clinton in the online comment section of stories displayed within the Des Moines Register's web site.

Why is it Hillary's fault that her husband strayed repeatedly with every piece of slutty trailer park trash, nightclub lounge singer bitch, or cigar-loving blowjob queen?

Why do people have to criticize my soon-to-be-former-boss for leaving her job as the Register's publisher in order to start some self-help business for rich white liberal suburban Boomer wombyn?

And anytime a women is mentioned as a victim in a Register story, like the female members of the Iowa Parole Board, out come the Jack-booted thugs with their sexist online comments.

Now, I'm not saying that all white men are angry or that all angry people are white men. I'm just blaming those angry white men who threw a temper tantrum in 1994.

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM???????

You penis crackers control government, all the best jobs, and all the money. You get off easy at home. No wonder you're all a bunch of anonymous jerks! And Republicans!

Now, so I can abuse you further, please leave your comments below with your name, phone number, address, Social Security number, length of penis, amount of melanin in your body, and a scan of your voter registration card.

Naturally, I don't trust you, but if I can exploit your opinions in order to milk a few more columns and drive more traffic to our web site because our subscriber base is dwindling and ad revenue is declining (another sign of the horrible Bush economy thanks to this illegal war!!!!!), that would really help me.

Is the goddamn air conditioning on? Damn, it sucks to get old.

Virtual Rubbernecking With A Pinch Of Class Envy

The DMR has a big feature in the Sunday paper on million dollar homes in the Polk County metro area. There's 98 of them. It's bound to inspire lots of small-town envy in the comments and virtual rubbernecking via the Google Maps links.

Down here in Kansas City you can probably find more million dollar homes in the little landlocked suburb of Mission Hill, Kansas without ever having to cross the state line into Kansas City, Missouri proper where there's loads of them near Ward Parkway. And I can't even begin to guess how many million dollar McMansions are way out in the far out burbs of Olathe or Lenexa.

And don't forget that the average apartment in Manhattan now sells for over a million dollars.

So big whoop about the Des Moines area having a handful of million dollar homes.

The weirdest home in the Polk County area has to be Lemar Koethe's bizarre merry-go-round in-the-sky in Urbandale:



Would you pay $2.4 million for that frickin weird thing? I don't think so.

Not making the list was Slipknot lead singer Corey Taylor, whose house on Foster Dr barely cracks $500,000 in the city assessment. What a loser.

Once again, here's Slipknot:

Shut Up, You Old Koontzes

Ray and Fran Koontz of Des Moines had a big sob-story of an opinion piece published in the Register today about the mandatory sentence imposed on their shitbag criminal son, John, who is 51 years old and currently residing at the Waseca Federal Correctional Institute in Minnesota until 2019.

As you can imagine, there's a whole another side to the story of John Raymond Koontz that this opinion piece doesn't reveal.

You can start by reading about John Koontz in the 8th Circuit Court Of Appeals:

After stopping John Raymond Koontz for a traffic violation, local police in Buchanan County, Iowa, arrested him for driving while his license was suspended. Subsequent searches of his car revealed drugs and a loaded and cocked gun; state drug and gun offenses were then added to the charges against him. Evidently unable to post bail, Mr. Koontz was sent to the county jail pending a preliminary hearing provided for by state law. After four days, he asked to talk with a federal drug agent and did so, once on that same day and once about a week later. At the first interview, according to the agent, Mr. Koontz acknowledged distributing about ten pounds of methamphetamine in the previous year. At the second interview, according to the agent, Mr. Koontz reduced to about four pounds the amount that he acknowledged distributing in the previous year.

In between the first and second interviews, the federal government obtained an indictment against Mr. Koontz. After a three-day trial, a jury convicted him of one count of being a felon in possession of a gun, see 18 U.S.C. § 922(g)(1), one count of possessing a substance with a detectable amount of methamphetamine with intent to distribute it, see 21 U.S.C. § 841(a)(1), § 841(b)(1)(C), and one count of carrying a gun during and in relation to a federal drug offense, see 18 U.S.C. § 924(c)(1). The trial court sentenced Mr. Koontz to 120 months on the first count, 240 months on the second count (those sentences to run concurrently), and 60 months on the third count (to run consecutively to the sentences on the first two counts).

Even Ray & Fran Koontz's grandson was willing to lie in order to protect his father:

At trial, Mr. Koontz's son testified that the gun found in his father's car belonged to and was put there by one of the son's friends just a few days or so before Mr. Koontz's arrest. Mr. Koontz himself testified that he did not know that the gun was in the car. In rebuttal, the government offered a fax of a computer-generated booking report from the Polk County, Iowa, jail showing that an "Asian" person with the same name as the son's friend was in that jail at least six weeks before Mr. Koontz's arrest, was not released until more than a week after Mr. Koontz's arrest, and was serving time during that period on a probation revocation.

A look at the state trial court search of "John Raymond Koontz" finds a variety of charges in the early 1990s. On April 27, 1993, Koontz racked up his third OWI. Adj. Judge Richard Strickler sentenced Koontz to 5 years, but that was obviously not served in full.

Readers commenting on the opinion piece smelled something and have been very critical of it.

The parents are really in deep denial about what a criminal shitbag they've raised.

It makes you wonder whether the Register did any investigating of John Koontz before green-lighting it.

Obama To AARP: Drop Dead

Sorry. I just couldn't resist.

Ottumwa Wa Wa Wa

Updated at 10:30am:



Ottumwa is having water issues today thanks to a sewer that backed up into the basement of the city's water treatment plant.

As a result, water pressure is going to drop within the city for the next 36 hours while the pumps and basement are scrubbed. Residents have been asked to boil water before drinking, the schools are closed, all restaurants are ordered closed, and most of the city's major employers, including meatpacking and bottling plants, sent workers home.

I don't know if this would have helped the Ottumwa Water Works, but you really ought to have a sewer backflow valve installed in your home. FEMA explains it all, including the cost. It's not that much money.

Many rivers and streams in Iowa have been fouled thanks to sewage and manure pits overflowing because of the recent heavy rains, but don't panic! Chuck Corell, the water-quality genius at the Iowa DNR, recently said that water utilities do a "bang-up job of providing safe, clean water" to Iowans. Yeah, right. So whatever you do, don't buy that evil, planet-destroying bottled water!


Update 10:30am - looks like the Lucas State Office Building doesn't have a sewage backup valve either, and they store government documents and records in the room where the crap backed up. Lovely. And the government wants to run health care....

Once again, here's Slipknot:

CIETC's Ramona Cunningham Is A Deadbeat

GED recipient and former $360,000-a-year CIETC head Ramona Cunningham with Senator Tom Harkin at the dedication of the "Tom Harkin Learning Center" at CIETC offices in October 20, 2004.

Ramona Cunningham's home is in foreclosure and hasn't paid her mortgage company a dime this year. The house, near St Charles, is only assessed at $114,200.

Cunningham took out a $75,000 loan in 2006 in order to pay off expensive attorney William Kutmus, and then it looks like she simply quit paying on it and moved to Louisiana. That won't help her at trial.

WDM Councilman And Alleged Thief Brad Olson Won't Resign

Even though Brad Olson was busted by police for skipping out on paying for his expensive prescription medication at Hy-Vee, he refuses to resign from the West Des Moines City Council.

As bad Olson looks, it isn't nearly as bad as drunk batterer councilman Ron Van Fossen's actions in the Quad Cities. That was downright embarrassing.

I think it won't be long before Brad Olson starts portraying himself as the victim in the media, kind of like how councilman Tom Vlassis got away with it in Des Moines.

“Dick, this is not about where you put your penis, this is about our future!”

Dateline NBC had a program on last night about the murder of Dr Richard Nelson by his estranged wife, Phyllis, in 2001 in Cedar Rapids.

Phyllis had prepared divorce papers, left a series of rambling phone answering machine messages all night, and then drove for over 30 minutes at 4am in order to confront her husband and his girlfriend at his sparse divorcing man's apartment. The girlfriend splits before Phyllis enters, but then Phyllis comes in and stabs him in the chest with a knife, which ultimately kills him.

Thanks to hiring William Kutmus, the kind of attorney only the guilty wealthy can afford, Phyllis Nelson had her trial decided by a judge. Verdict? Voluntary manslaughter. 10 year sentence, of which she served less than 3 1/2 years in prison. Now she's a free widow.

Contrast this to Dixie Shanahan (now Dixie Duty), a poor woman who received a 50 year sentence for killing her violently abusive husband and then letting his body rot in her home.

Duty later got her sentence commuted to 10 years by then-Gov Tom Vilsack, but not before the rich Democrat bitches on the Iowa Parole Board gave Duty a bunch of shit for not taking a deal.


Dixie Shanahan (now Dixie Duty), after her husband beat her up

Hormel Buys Burke

Hormel announced today that they're paying $110 million to acquire Brooke Burke.

Whoops, sorry, got that last part wrong.

Hormel paid $110 million to buy Burke Corp, based out of Nevada, IA.

Burke Corp makes pizza toppings.

So meaty!

Water = Shit

Everybody is dumping their shit into Iowa's rivers this week thanks to heavy rains, flooding, and many other excuses.

Chuck Corell, the water-quality genius at the Iowa DNR, recently said that water utilities do a "bang-up job of providing safe, clean water" to Iowans.

Why, that tap water which was recently fouled with raw sewage, pig and cattle shit, and godknowswhatelse, is perhaps even more healthier for you than evil bottled water!

Now for your lunchtime entertainment, welcome back Slipknot:

The War On Facebook

The Press-Citizen seems to be making a mountain out of an anthill today with the discovery (shock!) that some University of Iowa student-athletes are pictured on Facebook with alcoholic containers or beverages in sight.

I wonder how upset the Carrie Nations at the Press-Citizen would be if the "underage" students were posing with guns, which are legal, rather than alcohol which, thanks to nanny-staters like Elizabeth Dole, isn't.

Why all this brouhaha over a bunch of goofy photos? Gee, a black guy in a Dale Jr jacket (!!!) is holding an old empty vodka bottle. Another black guy is holding a couple of $20 bills and a cell phone! Gangsta, gangsta!!!

Let's not focus on the real story, which is the alleged theft and charging of a credit card by a couple of UI football players. That's a far more serious deal than a bunch of college students being photographed standing around while somebody pukes up some cheap beer.

This Just In: Hell Has Officially Frozen Over

Even the Des Moines Register's Editorial Board could not stomach spending $28 million of taxpayer dollars in order to build a $92 million hotel next to the Giant Carbuncle.

The Editorial Board even said that the local politicians need to listen to marketplace rather than consultants.

Wow! Did Rupert Murdoch buy Gannett last night?

Actually, it wasn't that difficult of a call. Eventually you must have priorities. In Polk County it's clear that a new jail and a new courthouse are needed long before another 40% vacant hotel is built.

Nutroots Are Targeting "Bush Dog" Democrat Leonard Boswell

The nutroot leftoids are targeting Leonard Boswell, along with 37 other "Bush Dog" Democrats for crimes against the Kossacks.

I wonder if they'll ever attack Vietnam Warmonger-era vet Tom Harkin, who not only voted for Bush's war, but recently voted to keep funding it.

Don't forget to also factor in Harkin's Steve King-like stance on struggling undocumented migrants and love for deficit kingpin Jim Nussle.

Who's Taking Care Of The Children?

Cityview in Des Moines has a cover story this week by Sean J. Miller on women in politics at the Statehouse level in Iowa.

The article starts off with Lt Gov Patty Judge talking about being elected to the Iowa Senate in the early 1990s and having visitors to her office ask the receptionist who was taking care of Judge's children.

It's good to know that things haven't changed much since the early 1990s, because today this blog is going to ask the same question of a female go-getter in the Iowa House who was curiously missing from this lengthy cover story: Staci Appel (pictured above), the Democrat from rural Indianola.

Appel has 5 children now. The oldest is about 8 or 9, and the youngest was born last November. Her husband, Brent Appel, basically bought his seat on the Iowa Supreme Court from Tom Vilsack. They're a busy professional political couple, as you can see from these photos.

Sure, asking the question "Who's going to watch the kids?" can get you labeled a misogynist, but only by the kind of people who think it's OK to advocate abortion, sexually transmitted disease antidotes, and information about incest to seventh grade girls.

Not surprisingly, Staci Appel is a big fan of Hitlery Clintler.

The only problem is that Appel barely won her seat in 2006. Mom might be sent home earlier than expected if she faces some stiff competition in the next erection election.

Life's A Hu$tle

Look at these photos:







The pictures feature Hawkeye football players Anthony Bowman, Dominique Douglas, and Arvell Nelson goofing around with old Absolut bottles that someone else had littered, but they washed out and were about to recycle for the deposit, along with a handful of $20 bills.

Weirdly enough, the AD at the University of Iowa thought it might have been a Photoshop job.

As it turned out, it wasn't. How could you Photoshop a Dale Jr jacket on a brother?

No wonder Douglas and Bowman were alleged to have charged up a stolen credit card with new clothes, they had such bad fashion sense to begin with.

The only crime here, to quote Woody Harrelson as Larry Flynt in the movie The People Vs Larry Flynt, is bad taste.

I sentence the accused before us to 8 hours of community service. They must be forced to watch all 8 episodes of Tim Gunn's Guide To Style, starting September 6th at 9pm central on Bravo.

Hotel Carbuncle

Sure, the Polk County Convention Center lost money every year. That tab was picked up by the taxpayers.

And yes, turning that building into a Conference Center caused it to lose even more money.

And it's true that the Wells Fargo Arena loses over a million dollars a year, which is paid for by Polk County taxpayers.

Naturally, in order to protect the county's "investment" (...groan...), taxpayers should pony up another $28 million to build a giant hotel which will compete against all the non-taxpayer-subsidized hotels in downtown Des Moines.

Circular firing squad, commence fire!

Better yet, try to get the tube back into the box:



Related: Did They Factor In The Cost For All The KY Jelly That Polk County Taxpayers Will Need?

But, But, It's For The Children!!!

The Des Moines Register is already priming the propaganda pump in advance of the 2009 vote on renewing the 1-cent local option sales tax for the schools - a vote which passed by 43 votes in 1999 on repeated tries.

The Des Moines School Board knows that the tax will never be renewed, especially after the Project Destiny debacle. In recent months they've been calling for the State to just hike the sales tax another penny in order to keep the money flowing.

You Make A Dead Man Cum

John Deeth has a very interesting take on the recent appearance by John Edwards in front of the Hamburg Inn No 2 diner in Iowa City last week.

Not only did Edwards not set foot in the diner, but Deeth said "it tested, and exceeded, the limits of one-on-one caucus campaigning."

Later in the same post, Deeth remarks about Joe Biden's more subtle appearance at the Hamburg on Monday morning with some keen observations.

And don't forget to read Deeth's more substantive post on Biden's appearance from earlier in the day.

Rob Howe: Give The Thug Criminals On The Hawkeye Football Team Yet Another Chance

Rob Howe at HawkeyeNation.com seems to think that University of Iowa wide receivers Dominique Douglas and Anthony Bowman, who were both charged with unauthorized use of a credit card on Sunday, shouldn't be indefinitely suspended from the Iowa Hawkeye football team.

Howe shakes off the notion that Douglas and Bowman are in the same league as Pierre Pierce.

Rob, the Pierre Pierce thing is still fresh in everybody's minds. Most people wanted Pierce kicked out after he sexually assaulted his first victim. But nooooooo, Steve Alford and Bob Bowlsby (now both gone, thank god....) gave Pierce another chance, which he promptly threw away by being violent again. Then it was revealed that Pierce was just a thug dumbass who couldn't even spell.

How would you like it, Rob, if somebody took your credit card and started charging stuff up on it via University computers? How stupid do you have to be to pull something like that?

Even if you found out who stole and charged up your credit card, you've still got months and months of paperwork and time and expenses and trouble to deal with cleaning up your credit report.

Sorry, Rob Howe, but I think you're going to be in a very small handful of people who think student-athletes who turn into criminal-athletes should just get a one or two game suspension.

It's bad enough that Kirk Ferentz is one of the highest paid collegiate football coaches in the country, but the guy had a shitty 2-6 Big Ten Conference season last year. Add scandal to a second crappy season and Coach Moneybags will soon be bolting for the Pros.

Back to Rob Howe in general. How tone deaf do you have to be to write a column like he did? That guy is clueless.


Update: How many chances do you give these criminal-athletes? As many as Hakim Hill got?

Did They Factor In The Cost For All The KY Jelly That Polk County Taxpayers Will Need?

So let me get this straight.

Some group of overpaid consultants from Chicago fly into Des Moines and create some fake numbers about how a new hotel next to the taxpayer-subsidized/money-losing giant carbuncle will make money?

The only problem is that the new hotel will require at least $28 million in taxpayer subsidies.

A question to ask: How much money will the hotel make if the taxpayers don't get screwed? Or is that even possible?

I Forgot

WDM Councilman Brad Olson got busted for not paying for his expensive prescriptions and is using the "I forgot" defense. Hy-Vee says Bullshit on that.

Time to bring in Steve Martin:

You.. can be a millionaire.. and never pay taxes! You can be a millionaire.. and never pay taxes! You say.. "Steve.. how can I be a millionaire.. and never pay taxes?" First.. get a million dollars. Now.. you say, "Steve.. what do I say to the tax man when he comes to my door and says, 'You.. have never paid taxes'?" Two simple words. Two simple words in the English language: "I forgot!" How many times do we let ourselves get into terrible situations because we don't say "I forgot"? Let's say you're on trial for armed robbery. You say to the judge, "I forgot armed robbery was illegal." Let's suppose he says back to you, "You have committed a foul crime. you have stolen hundreds and thousands of dollars from people at random, and you say, 'I forgot'?" Two simple words: Excuuuuuse me!!"

George Washington Grew Pot, Too

John Deeth notes that New Mexico Governor and Democratic Presidential candidate Bill Richardson is fighting the Feds on his state's Medical Marijuana law.

That's a pretty ballsy thing to do in this day and age of blow-dried and scripted campaigns. Gotta give Richardson some props and respect for doing the right thing.

Criminal-Athletes

More accused criminal-athletes at the University of Iowa.

Dominique Douglas (above), Iowa's best receiver last year, was one of the two arrested.

Mass Debaser

I'd rather slice up my own eyeballs than watch the recent Democrat debate on George Steponallofus's Sunday morning show, but Yepsen watched it and offers up a boring recap in the DMR that boils down to:

Is Hillary Clintler electable?

Obama might have won the debate.

John Edwards held his own.

Bill Richardson had a good morning and is Latino.

Joe Biden had a good morning, too.

Chris Dodd wasn't really given a chance to speak much.

And Dennis Kucinich was all-but-forgotten by George Steponallofus.

How is this different from any other "debate" recently? Were hearts and minds truly changed?

Who watches this crap, anyway, besides Yepsen? I bet Spongebob Squarepants has higher ratings on a Sunday morning.

Same thing applies to the recent mass debate done by the Republicans, sans Fred Thompson. It's a ridiculous spectacle put on by the boring ass corporate media who only want to narrowly focus topics so that you can't see the politicians eroding your rights and taking more of your wallet.

My 3 Year Old Is Smarter Than Your 3 Year Old

There's a big article in the Sunday DMR that questions when kids should be able to attend Kindergarten.

Some guy in Council Bluffs wants to ensure in a couple years that his almost-3-year-old twins can be the youngest kids in Kindergarten even though they don't meet Iowa's cut-off date.

God forbid that these kids spend their fifth year in pre-school or (horrors) at home with mom!

Naturally, the Register has to quote a bunch of "experts" who pull out all the usual feminist nonsense about how the family might not be able to afford another year of child care or perhaps kids who are barely 5 years old are ready for All Day Kindergarten because, you know, everybody's child is a freakin' Einstein who is going to cure cancer and become the next President. Oh yeah, and the school district gets more money because the kid is enrolled.

The truth is pretty sad, isn't it? All ego and greed. Who cares what's really good for the children.....

Let's face it: some yuppie/feminist parents just don't want to be around their kids. They pawn them off on cheap daycares. Mom has to work a full-time job because she and the hubby have a suburban McMansion and SUV lifestyle to support. Besides - gosh - they didn't realize how difficult kids can be to raise. Wow, who knew? Too bad they can't afford an undocumented immigrant as a nanny, much less Swiss boarding schools!

All is not lost, soccer moms and dads. You can always start your kid "late" in Kindergarten and then become that elitist ass who advocates skipping Junior a grade around second or third grade because he or she is way too smart compared to all the other dolts.

I figure if you're going to skip a kid, why not let it be when they're 15 or 16 or 17 years old? If the kid is truly a genius, let them test out of high school and get on with university or college. If having 4 or 5 year olds in Kindergarten is going to make them so smart, then eliminating the need for 11th or 12th grade might be a workable solution for the future.

Rounding Up The Whores

Democrats, sucking union cock.

Obama thinks that as president he can just make laws out of his ass.

Dodd emphasized his 26 years year of service in the Senate. I think 26 years is about 20 years too long.

Huckabee doesn't realize he only got a dead cat bounce at the Iowa Straw Poll.

Hitlery spoke in a soft, folksy voice, often dropping the “g” from words ending in “ing.” also known to normal human beings as acting like a patronizing phony.

Bring back the smoke-filled rooms! Minus the smoke, of course.

Mitt Romney is rich. Did ya know that already? Gee, I thought he was just a Mormon.

Why do newspaper readers hate idiotic political columnists? Just read this.

I LOVE KATHERINE PRUDHOMME-O'BRIEN, WHO ASKS THE QUESTIONS THAT SCARED REPORTERS WON'T DARE ASK!!!!!!!!!! You go, girl!!!!!!

Once again, John Edwards is a hypocrite piece of shit. But you knew that already.

Fred Thompson once lobbied on behalf of abortionists. That should give him bi-partisan appeal and lefty media cred. Right?

Al Gore's National Example Update

In 1998, Al Gore dedicated the Osada affordable-housing project in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, as a "national example" of a public-private partnership.

A little over a year ago, the "national example" was trashed, cockroaches were taking over, fire alarms were regularly pulled, and occupancy rates were so low that the project was losing large amounts of money.

Now, in the summer of 2007, the remaining tenants are being moved out at taxpayer expense. The building looks like it will be sold and turned into luxury condos.

Speaking Of Robber Barons

Not content with calling businesses "robber barons" earlier today, John Edwards is cutting and running from the Fortress Investment Group, a hedge fund which has a shitload (at least $15 million) of Edwards' investments, and which also paid Edwards almost $500,000 last year in consulting fees, and whose executives have donated more than $150,000 to his campaign.

Apparently, Fortress Investment Group owns a part of a number of subprime mortgage lending companies, including GreenTree Servicing. And those subprime mortgage lenders are foreclosing on some people in the Nawlins area who didn't pay their mortgages after they were hit by the Katrina hurricane that Karl Rove created with his special super secret CIA weather machine that was invented by Halliburton.

Or something like that.

You know, why would anybody in their right mind vote for somebody like John Edwards? He's a total fucking hypocrite rich asshole who only hooked up with Fortress in order to avoid paying his taxes.

John Edwards is the kind of caricature that many Democrats think Republicans are. How any Democrat worth their salt could eat Edwards' bullshit up and still swallow is beyond my comprehension.

It's The Muddy Water, Stupid

Obama doesn't walk on water, but he does admit to "swimming in the same muddy water" as all the lobbyists and special interests in Washington DC.

Really, Obama?

Does that "muddy water" also include your long relationship with Tony Rezko, an Illinois restaurant and real estate developer currently facing federal charges of attempted extortion, money laundering, and fraud?

Obama is even filthier than the lobbyists he claims to swim. Yes, he's dirty. He's just another filthy politician from Illinois lining his and his friend's pockets with your tax money.

Biden's JAG

Kay Henderson's blog at Radio Iowa reports on how the Biden campaign took issue with her presentation of the story that Joe Biden's son, Beau, the Attorney General of Delaware, had his National Guard unit activated for duty in Iraq. Beau Biden is a captain and a Judge Advocate General, basically a military lawyer. Just like Chuck Larson.

Henderson, of course, had already done her homework on the story. The blog entry is basically a public look at her notes and a way of revealing how she approached the story.

I find this sort of stuff fascinating and that's why Henderson's blog is usually always a must-read when it comes to looking at the political nitty-gritty. She's a class act, unlike me.

Robber Barons

In this story via Bloomberg (written by the curiously-named Nicholas Johnston), John Edwards uses the phrase "robber barons" to describe big business.

Robber barons? Which century is this? The 19th?

The odd thing is that the legacy of many past robber barons was that of considerable philanthropy and large donations to the current Democratic Party.

John Edwards also blamed drug and insurance companies for an 83-year-old Perry woman's $3000 a year health care costs.

I pay more than $3000 towards the insurance policy cost that my employer provides to cover my family every year. Who can you blame for that, John Edwards? Perhaps old people who didn't take care of themselves years ago?

Edwards also says that business lobbyists have "rigged" the system to block fair trade practices and efforts to curb foreign oil.

What the hell is he talking about?

Edwards is the same douchebag who didn't want to drill for oil in America and who thinks E85 ethanol (which was totally birthed thanks to ADM's fatcat lobbyists) will save the nation.

If big business is full of robber barons these days, it's because of trial lawyer and lobbyist money that flows into campaign coffers in order to pass laws that manipulate the tax system so they can get special perks.

I Am The Antichrist, I Make Old Women Sick

Poor Tom Vilsack.

He's waltzing around the Iowa State Fair, trying to convince anybody with a vagina that Hitlery Clinton is The Man. Then he makes a mistake by trying to coax an 87 year old woman to meet Hitlery who responds, "No way! She makes me sick!" Meanwhile, somebody in the crowd starts yelling about how Hitlery is the "Antichrist".

Contrast that story to the Des Moines Register's puff piece.

Iowa Supreme Court: Get Out Of Jail Cheaper

Awwwwww, isn't it good to know that the Democrat-stacked Iowa Supreme Court is giving alleged criminals a tax break? Or something sort of like that.

It's the best Iowa Supreme Court that money can buy.

He Likes Cigars, She Likes Corndogs

The Des Moines Register recycles Jennifer Jacobs' unctuous love letter / puff piece to the Hitlery campaign in today's edition.

Don't miss the comments in the over-the-top version printed online yesterday. I loved the "Heil Clintler!" one. Ha ha ha, that's a good one.

The Bums Of Cownieville

A $6.3 million homeless shelter for Des Moines?

A $150,000, two year study of the "homeless problem" in Cownieville?

Did you notice how the Register pointed out that the Cafe De Communist in Davenport served 3781 lunches, including 165 to children. If the same kid came every day for a free lunch, that means only about 5 or 6 total children were served by that facility.

It's for the children!

Christine Hensley, naturally, wants every other town around Des Moines to pick up her extravagent homeless bill. When I've driven through Urbandale in the past I haven't seen mentally ill alcoholics and drug addicts pushing carts around or panhandling. Maybe the burbs are doing something right and Davenport is doing something wrong.

Don't make it desirable for bums to hang out, camp in your parks and industrial zones, and commit crimes. The police should show the bums where the city limits are and kick them out. If they don't want to get their shit together and become a productive member of society, that's not the taxpayer's problem. There's opportunities for them to get off drugs and alcohol, but they don't want to. They want to lie in the taxpayer's hammock, or steal everything they can get away with.

Now, this is different from the alleged homeless. Those are people who fall into life's cracks. They're the young mother with a baby who has fled an abusive "boyfriend" or the down-on-their-luck bunch from Council Bluffs whose 20 year old minivan breaks down on I-235 while en route to a better life working on the kill floor in Marshalltown. By all means there should be help for these people in larger cities.

But unfortunately a $6.3 million "homeless shelter" will be nothing but a magnet for those members of society who should be residing in an insane asylum rather than whisking your toddler into a bathroom at the public library in order to get a quick fondle.

Big Fat Thighs On A Stick

Holy corn dogs!

I think the Des Moines Register, especially "reporter" Jennifer Jacobs, went totally overboard with this absurd puff piece on Hitlery Clinton at the Iowa State Fair.

There's no substance whatsoever to this story. None.

But you know what? If the Register pulled this sort of shit with Mitt Romney or whoever is on the Republican side, I'd call foul just as quickly.

This is lightweight "journalism" at its worst.


Update: More shit from the ASSociated Press here. Do these "reporters" like Beth Fouhy think we're a bunch of fucking idiots who can't see through this shit? Jesus....

Sarcasm Is The Refuge Of Losers

Kay Henderson has a big roundup of candidate chasing over at the Radio Iowa blog.

It's good.

Some highlights:

Hitlery says "I feel like Oprah!" while handing around her microphone (which, you know, is sort of shaped like a vibrator or penis) and instantly I think, "Oh, then you really are a closet lesbian?"

Elizabeth Edwards supposedly ate non-refrigerated cottage cheese the morning she got sick. I'm surprised John Edwards didn't blame Karl Rove. I don't know what planet Elizabeth Edwards is on, but if I put room temperature cottage cheese into my mouth I'd be spitting faster than Monica Lewinsky!

John McCain attended the Iowa State Fair on Tuesday when the heat index was 105. McCain really has to be nuts to think anybody still cares about his campaign. The rats have left the ship, sir! You really should be singing "Memories" again, because that's what your quest has turned into now.

Bill Richardson was also at the fair that day, wearing a long-sleeved dress shirt with an undershirt. I understand he was carrying around a sign that said "Fuck Global Warming!"

You've got to love the baseball card that the Richardson campaign is passing out. Richardson has about the same profile as pitcher David Wells.

Waste

Scott Cawelti has a column in Sunday's Waterloo Courier in which he calls the death of a US soldier who had been in one of his classes a "waste".

That column is little more than a toned-down version of what terrorist-friendly ISU professor John Hauptman wrote when a former student of his, Robert Jason Gore, was killed in 2005. Hauptman called Gore's death a "waste".

Barack Obama, the anti-war candidate who now wants to unilaterally rush to invade Pakistan the minute he becomes President, used similar language in Ames last February:



I'm sure if you could bring these people back to life, they wouldn't think their death was a waste. They believed in what they were doing. They approved of the mission. They understood the consequences.

Nobody gave them a low number in the draft because of their race or socio-economic status. Nobody forced a draft on them. Nobody marched them out at gunpoint. That would be a waste.

I often wonder what active duty members of our military think of such columns like Cawelti's. I imagine that they just tune this sort of stuff out as the usual ignorant noise perpetuated by lazy-assed columnists or professors who put their political agenda ahead of finding out what actually is going on in Iraq.

Do you think Cawelti has even bothered to seek out a member of the Iowa National Guard who has recently returned from duty in Iraq? Wouldn't that be an interesting interview? Well, no, because the newspapers don't want to print those sorts of stories because it's different than their political agenda. Instead, they seek out a kooky old woman who stands besides a highway for an hour a day holding up home-made anti-war signs, but they won't find a soldier to tell his or her story. That is, unless the soldier is dead, then they're perfectly happy to exploit every single thing they can in order to make the war look bad. Otherwise, they rely on "fake news" from Reuters or the AP from terrorist-paid stringers on how the war is going.

Over In The People's Republic Of Iowa City

I must say that I've been enjoying the John Deeth Blog lately, especially this Table Scraps And Leftovers column.

"I don't agree with him on everything" ™ but he's got the feckless Iowa Republicans all figured out, and he modulates that in an amusing way.

Nick Johnson sends a shout-out. He says he's going to campaign against every city council candidate there who supports TIFs and other property tax avoidance schemes by the rich. Good luck with that uphill battle. Unless Ron Paul is planning to run for political office in Iowa City, I think Nick is going to be rather busy. TIF-supporting candidates (regardless of political affiliation) tend to be "connected" and "experienced", something which voters eat up, even if it takes money out of their own wallets.

Did Side Notes leave Iowa? Looks like she's moving back.

Hitlery Clinton Shits All Over The Military Again

She can't help it, she was born with her left wing in her mouth.

Hitlery think diabetics should have insurance in order to get nutritional counseling!

I don't know. Last time I looked there was this thing called the internet. You can use it to look up all sorts of things, even if you speak Spanish.

What if you don't have access to the internet? Well, likely you're invisible to President Bush, hardee har har. Instead, you can get on the monorail and travel down to the local library for information. You might have to step over all the homeless single mothers with children who are camping out all over downtown and using it as their personal toilet (aka Cownieville), but that shouldn't be too big of a problem because they're invisible to President Bush as well, hardee har har.

"But if you have your leg amputated, the insurance company will pay for it..." - bwaaaa haaaa haaaa!!!!!! You are sooooo funny Hitlery!

Then Hitlery says she's going to end all tax breaks to oil companies and instead she'll give those tax breaks to ADM and other big ethanol producers who don't pay property taxes.

At the end of the article, for balance apparently, the DMR story quotes some environmental attorney who says that any Democrat's plan for helping the environment would be better than any Republican's. Riiiiiiight!

But don't forget that Hitlery also wants to Nationalize all US oil companies:

Bankruptcy And Scandal And Prison!

Over in the Press-Citizen, an "expert" in bankruptcy and credit law named Katie Porter has some study out based on data from 6 years ago that says the eeeevil credit card companies are soliciting bankrupt types immediately after their debts are discharged, but that these bums who can't pay their bills are having a hard time getting a mortgage.

Then Porter turns around at the end of the article and blows it by saying that these bums who file for bankruptcy shouldn't be made to feel that they can't take out a loan to start a business, or that debt is a bad thing in general.

That's sort of like saying: we know Lindsey Lohan is an alcoholic and cocaine addict, but, by golly, she shouldn't be made to feel that having some champagne or a line or two in the future is a bad thing.

By the way, Senator Grassley, how's that bankruptcy reform thing going? Oh, yes, didn't do jack squat except enrich lawyers, right? Well, perhaps Iowans should keep re-electing your sorry ass for a couple more decades until the right answer pops into your diapers. OK? Thank you and good night.

Make Hay Not Corn

The price of hay is going up thanks to global freezing.

Little Miss Brilliance

Lifelong Gannettoid Mary Stier is leaving her job as publisher of the DMR.

She's started some multimedia company aimed at rich white suburban liberal Boomer women called The Brilliance Group.

I'm sure The Brilliance Group will be as successful as her campaign to raise taxes on the working poor while giving her multi-millionaire friends like Principal CEO Barry Griswell's company a huge tax break, aka Project Destiny.



Bring on the next Gannettoid to keep rearranging the deck chairs on the port side.

I Keep Getting Older, But They Stay The Same Age, Yes They Do

If higher education costs so much, then why is there going to be another record number of freshmen in the fall?


Related: On Higher Education And Debt

Tom Harkin For Senate

GED recipient and former $368,000-a-year CIETC head Ramona Cunningham with Senator Tom Harkin at the dedication of the "Tom Harkin Learning Center" at CIETC offices in October 20, 2004.

It looks like Tom Harkin's Senate re-election campaign is buying ad space on the web.

You know where to look ------->

There's an old trick partisans play where if you want to take money from a candidate, long-term that is, you send him or her a friendly letter and include a check for $1 or $2 and ask to be put on the mailing list. Eventually the campaign mails so much stuff out to you that before long you're costing them money.

The same sort of trick can be played with a candidate's web advertising, so I don't know why a campaign would bother burning money that way.

Tom Harkin does have a lot of dough in the bank, however the Republican Party of Iowa always offers up poodles against him. No wonder he keeps winning.

Besides, I'm sure Democrats are happy with a guy who votes to continue funding the war in Iraq, is almost as right-wing as Steve King regarding illegals, and who voted for Republican Jim Nussle to head the White House Office of Budget Mismanagement. Right?

Tsongas

Nancy Richardson of the IDOT sure is pushing the panic button about highway funding in this QC Times story today.

And I love the language the reporter uses. Phrases like "$4 billion shortfall in the federal government's highway trust fund" just kill me. There isn't a "trust fund" for the highways. Who is reporter Dan Gearino kidding? That money goes in one tunnel and out the other.

Why have gas taxes fallen short of expectations? Are people avoiding fuel taxes by brewing their own bio-diesel in their garages or maybe cooking up some ethanol in the woods?

Somehow, Richardson uses the other side of her mouth to complain about increased traffic demands.

So wait a second here. If traffic demands are going up, how come gasoline tax revenue isn't?

It doesn't matter. They've been wanting to raise the gas tax for some time now. It's never enough, though. Gosh, if only we could be like Europe and have $8 a gallon petrol. Maybe then we could build a freakin billion-dollar monorail to transport undocumented immigrants between, I don't know, Marshalltown and Postville... because of tourism... and the children... and global warming... and health care...

Kum E85, My Lord, Kum E85

This story in the DMR is about how Kum & Go and GM are partnering to promote 19 E85 pumps that nobody will use.

What this story doesn't tell you is how much taxpayer-deficit-financed corporate welfare Bill Krause and the gang have gotten from you all in order to install his pumps.

Last December, Senator Tom Harkin announced that Kum & Go would be the recipient of $1.5 million in taxpayer pork dollars that did not go towards such lesser things as broken bridges, border security, or how to cure cancer.

That's $62,500 per pump.

GM's interest in alcoholic cars is solely to skirt the CAFE standards so they can sell more profitable gas-guzzling trucks and SUVs. Shouldn't they be spending their money getting that Chevy Volt to market quicker?

Ahhh, but where would Bill "Kum" Krause be without sucking on the teet of the taxpayers?

Perhaps Krause is trying to corner the fuel market on the lucrative government fleet business. Krause can get free taxpayer money to put in the pumps, sell the taxpayer-subsidized stuff to government flunkies at a ripoff rate compared to gasoline thanks to Chet Culver's mandate, and maybe that will soothe the sting from his losses by trying to monopolize the market on those now-defunct slottery machines.

Oh yeah. You didn't read any of the above in the DMR, now did you? No, you didn't. Why would they bother to print the truth about the ethanol scam? It's only your money.

(the below movie contains language the youngsters shouldn't hear)

The Late Late Late Late Show Starring John Edwards

John Edwards was 1 hour and 20 minutes late to an event in the parking lot at his campaign headquarters in Des Moines today. Naturally, Edwards came up with some bogus bullshit excuse about how his wife got sick because of breakfast, spoke for about 8 minutes, and then got the hell out of the sticky hot weather. His $1200 haircut was likely melting.

What's even sadder is that Ed Fallon introduced Edwards and appears to be supporting him. Boy, Fallon sure turned into a tool rather quickly, didn't he?

Lots of candidates, mostly Democrats, have been leaving their Iowa supporters waiting around for hours in cramped and boiling halls all summer long. That's got to piss people off. Why the hell would you ever vote for somebody who can't be respectful enough to be on time? I guess only the little people need to be on time.

A Kinder, Gentler Hitlery

The Associated Press reprints the Hitlery Clinton campaign's press release about an upcoming 60 second television ad.

Notice how Hitlery would never say anything like, "If you're a business owner who is struggling with being able to stay open and keep your employees around because of skyrocketing rates charged by greedy insurance companies and also because of greedy trial lawyers..."

And where are the fathers? Hitlery only ever talks about women, particularly single mothers, children, and old people. Fathers are never mentioned. They get wrapped up anonymously in the "family" designation. Hitlery doesn't ever seem to talk about men as fathers, much less breadwinners. Of course the media is too chicken to ask her why.

Yet, Hillary had no problem picking up a $900,000 check from music producer Timbaland, promoter of music that glorifies all that nigga/bitch/ho nonsense.

The Uncommitted

I like the old days of the Iowa Caucuses when "Uncommitted" was a big draw in the Democratic Party.

Here's some historical data to ponder.

Witness 1976, the year Jimmy Carter "won" Iowa with 27.6%. The only problem was that Uncommitted got 37.2%.

Fast forward to 2004 and Uncommitted only got 0.1%.

In 2004, those cracker-ass white-bread honky Iowa Democrats gave Al Sharpton 0%, but those bible-thumpers in the Republican Party gave not-yet-carpetbagger Alan Keyes 14%.

Two things always bewilder me about the Democrats: 1. George McGovern getting 10.3% in 1984. And 2. Ted Kennedy somehow pulling 31.2% in 1980.

And who's this Maurice Taylor who got 1.4% in 1996? Surely the then-20-year-old now-former Sacramento Kings power forward didn't try to run for president.

Professor Bainbridge: "I Was Just Being Sarcastic" When I Called Iowans A Bunch Of Yahoo-Infested Pissants

Bainbridge has a followup post on his own site ("I was just being sarcastic!") and then repeats himself:

Yet, neither Iowa, New Hampshire, nor South Carolina is particularly representative of the country as a whole. We need a meaningful reexamination of the Presidential process in which the parochial interests of three otherwise rather unimportant states are not allowed to preempt what is in the national interest.

Prof Bainbridge, what do you mean by "representative of the country as a whole"?

Which state is representative of the country as a whole? I mean that as a serious question... I don't think that question can be answered without lots of people poking holes into whatever state you bring forth as an example (race, median age, educational makeup, commerce, population, number of metropolitan areas, topography, political affiliation, past history, et al)

I've already demonstrated that Iowans generally vote in similar numbers as the overall national electorate. People in California don't, especially for the 2000 and 2004 elections.

Now I'm not defending Iowa's first-in-the-nation status, I never have, but where do you think candidates would visit if California had the first primary? That's right, only the major metro areas. Do you think for a second that they would appear in some small town to meet with 30 or 40 locals and talk the issues? No, they wouldn't. Only the richest, most capitalized candidates would be able to compete. You'd see rallies only at major arenas. Everything would be scripted and bland.

This is also the same end-result you'd see if the Electoral College was abolished and only the popular vote was used to elect a president. You'd never see anybody campaigning in Burlington or Storm Lake or Shenandoah or even Ottumwa. They'd all be in Chicago or St Louis or Mpls or Kansas City. They might make a stop in Des Moines, but only on their way to Omaha.

By the way, Iowa is not infested with Yahoos. Iowa is infested with politicians who gave a rich company like Google a bunch of breaks so they didn't have to pay their fair share of property or energy taxes.

With all that said, I must say that I enjoyed Lileks' comparison, too.

Now Where's My Sandwich With Pork, White Bread, and Mayo?

From Instapundit's blog:

PROFESSOR BAINBRIDGE GOES ALL California-superior on Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina. "How is it that we persist in allowing these unrepresentative, yahoo infested, pissant states [to] decide who gets to run for President?"

Now that's not very nice. But I think the answer is, to piss off Californians and New Yorkers, something that the rest of the country agrees on . . . .

UPDATE: Bainbridge is guestblogging at Andrew Sullivan's place, for those who missed it.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Related thoughts from Ed Driscoll.

What's one of the unrepresentative, yahoo infested, pissant states he's talking about?

Of course, it's Iowa.

There's nothing like a general dissing of Iowans to wake me from my month-long retirement vacation from blogging.

So Prof Bainbridge says that Iowa isn't representative of the rest of the country?

Let's take a look at some recent numbers.

The 2004 Presidential Election:

USA: Bush 50.7%, Kerry 48.3%
Iowa: Bush 49.9%, Kerry 49.23%
Cali: Bush 44.43%, Kerry 54.41%


The 2000 Presidential Election:

USA: Bush 47,9%, Gore 48.4%
Iowa: Bush 48.22%, Gore 48.54%
Cali: Bush 41.65%, Gore 53.45%


The 1996 Presidential Election:

USA: Dole 40.7%, Clinton 49.2%
Iowa: Dole 39.92%, Clinton 50.26%
Cali: Dole 38.21%, Clinton 51.1%


The 1992 Presidential Election:

USA: Bush 37.4%, Clinton 43%
Iowa: Bush 37.27%, Clinton 43.28%
Cali: Bush 32.61%, Clinton 46.01%


You can plainly see that Iowans end up voting very similarly to the percentage outcome in the overall Presidential election.

As for California, especially in 2000 and 2004? Ehhhhh........ Not even close, bud!

Now back to Bainbridge's other ridiculous statements:

Iowa? A population of less than 3 million, that at 96+% white is utterly unrepresentative of the country as a whole?

This sort of complaint has been going on for years, mostly by either Howard Dean or Peter Beinart. The thing is, both Dean and Beinart are correct about getting rid of Iowa's first-in-the-nation status for the caucuses, but for the wrong reasons.

Instead of counting Iowans by the color of their skin because of how the descendants of all those German, English, Irish, Italian, French, Croat, Czech, Slovak, Dutch, Danish, Swedish, et al, have assimilated in Iowa over the past 100-150 years (at the turn of the 20th century there were still many different foreign language newspapers being printed and distributed within Iowa), perhaps Prof Bainbridge should be pointing out that the previous three winning Democratic Presidential candidates have all come from Southern states.

It's also a modern fact that the Democrats cannot win the White House without winning Southern states. Don't forget that Al Gore lost his "home" state in 2000. John Edwards did the same thing in 2004.

Now tell me, how is somebody like Hillary Clinton going to beat a bona-fide southern gentleman like Fred Thompson in the South? She can't. Same thing with Hawaii-to-Chicago native Barack Obama. And if John Edwards can't win South Carolina in 2004, how could be possibly win in 2008?

I do agree with Dean and Beinart that Iowa and New Hampshire shouldn't have a monopoly on being "first in the nation" with their caucus and primary. It's only a recent thing anyway (Iowa wasn't "first in the nation" until 1972). Good luck getting anybody to agree to changing it. The news media in Iowa, particularly the TV stations and the newspapers, won't want to give up that regular infusion of cash and celebrity elbow-rubbing easily.

Back From Vacation

OK, the rules are: no quoting from any newspapers. Especially the precious Des Moines Register where being a lawyer (or at least threatening to use one) is obviously far more important than being a reporter.

I'll link, but that's it.

Capiche?