Hitlery Is Running Out Of Props In Iowa

Adam Nagourney-Rodham-Clinton, writing in the New York Slimes:

Over the next three days, the political world will be watching as Bill Clinton makes his first campaign swing with Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, starting this evening at the State Fairgrounds in Des Moines. The questions are interesting: How long will Mr. Clinton talk in introducing Mrs. Clinton? Will he outshine her, as happened at the funeral of Coretta Scott King? Will Mr. Clinton talk about President Bush, or the other Democratic presidential candidates, or stick to talking about his wife? And will the Clintons agree to an extended Mr.-and-Mrs. press conference? (That one is easy: Fat chance).

Their joint presence in Iowa, though, also hints at an intriguing and broader political story playing out in the state. Mrs. Clinton is embarking on a major effort to shore up a definite weakness in her candidacy – the widespread sense, shared by her own advisers, that she is trailing in Iowa, the state that starts the nominating process. So it is no coincidence that Iowa is where the campaign has chosen to deploy Mr. Clinton in a big way for the first time on her behalf.

Bill Clinton's never really spent much time in Iowa. Back in 1992, he got 2.8% of caucus support, good enough for fourth place.

Fourth place?

Yes. Tom Harkin finished first in 1992 with 76.4%, "uncommitted" was second with 11.9%, the late Paul Tsongas got 4.1%, and then there was Bill.

Iowans eventually liked Bill Clinton. He's got charisma, you know. He's good at banging those young intern girls with cigars while at work. He's good at keeping all those sexual harassment accusers at bay. It wasn't sex, it was just a blowjob. I don't know why we're getting all worked up about a blowjob with suborning perjury was the main reason Bill Clinton got disbarred and fined. That's not important, move along now. At least Scooter Libby is in prison while Sandy Burglar, who destroyed classified documents and shoved them down his pants, got off with a tiny fine and a banning from the archives until Democrats are in power again so he can do it again.

Oh wait, what happened? Must have been mesmerized by all that charisma.

But I think a lot of Democrats just don't trust Hitlery. Especially the moonbats. How could they ever forgive her for voting to continue to fund the war in Iraq? They know Bill won't be in charge. She will be. You could trust Bill Clinton to sign 95% of Newt Gingrich and the 1995 Republican Congress' Contract With America into law, but you just can't trust her.

Even two months ago, Tom Vilsack announced that Hitlery Clinton is not winning Iowa.

Even Gordon Fischer, who's always on Democrat Happy Pills, doesn't think she has a chance at winning the Iowa Caucus.

Look at Hitlery's organization: She's got a Dukakis vet running Iowa and Barbara Mikulski and Tom Vilsack co-chairing the national campaign. That doesn't exactly inspire confidence, now does it?

Nor does the rapid rise of Bill Richardson's campaign, which recently passed Obama in the polls amongst likely caucus voters and almost within margin of error distance of Hitlery.

"It's the vagina, stupid!" will only get you so far.