From another longtime reader along the same lines as "Letter Of The Year":
Hiya State:
Let me get this straight - if I pimp my all-terrain muddin' truck with barbs, claws, gates, cowcatchers and other sundry deer-killing accoutrements, and drive around my land running down Bambi at every opportunity to control the burgeoning population, I'm okay? But if i take a licensed gun and do the same, I'm in violation?
Secondly, if they are going to invest in birth control, why not deer abortion? I mean, shouldn't animals have reproductive rights too? Maybe then we can just extend shotgun season and pass it off as one long botched (but effective) abortion. "I swear Mr. DNR Enforcement - I was providing a free abortion service to what I thought was a pregnant mother. How was I supposed to know it was a 14-point buck?"
Once we get that passed, my long-held dream can finally be realized: landmines in the ditches along I-80. Deersplosions could be a real tourist attraction.
Former Iowa Deer-N-R head dimwit Jeff Vonk did say: "When you shoot them, they are our deer, but when you hit them with your car, they are your deer", so I guess, Yeah, you could outfit a vehicle specifically to run down and kill deer. The problem with that is weight and expense. I propose that Chet Culver take part of the IPERS pension fund and invest it in creating a Roomba-like outdoor robot for farmers and landowners to use in finding, running over, and then transporting crop-wrecking deer. Model it on something like the robot Vladiator.
I like the land mines idea even better. This could serve a threefold purpose: 1. Kill deer hanging out on the roadside. 2. Explode any litter into smithereens, particularly jugs of urine that truck drivers are known to pitch. And 3. Blow to bits some of the 15 or 20 illegal Mexicans shoved into a minivan and on their way to work at the Swift plant in Marshalltown, but who are forced the scatter once the local sheriff pulls them over.
Related: Deer Contraception Comments
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